So I have been thinking recently, thinking back to a time when I needed a gym partner to really get me into the frame of mind to go work out. I always ran alone with beats on, but I guess due to confidence issues being skinny, there was a kind of block there. Going alone in my mind, meant to be bored, not work hard and just try to get in and out as quick as possible.
So my long time friend had was talking to me about going to the gym, we were both in the same place. We both wanted to get swole, lived close together in the city centre and needed another person to tell us to stop being a pussy and get on with it. Perfect!
So we joined Pure Gym, it had enough equipment, enough space, wasn’t too busy and was super cheap! £15quid a month! I was planning on spending a lot of time there so was real value for money! I had been at a gym I hardly went to in the past for £30 quid a month, so I was more than happy with the extra bit of cash in my pocket!
So we started going, both of us were super on it! going 4, maybe 5 times a week. I was super skinny so it took a while before I started to see a difference. Just having someone there to talk and laugh with while you work out is great for confidence, enjoyment and not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of.
I wanted to be there all the time. Once you start seeing results and the results of other’s you really do get that addiction to gym people talk and preach about. That happy place where you enjoy every minute, even if you are just pointing out weird stuff or putting the world to rights between sets, letting out all those stresses of modern life and getting someone else’s point of view on them, right or wrong.
As we got used to the equipment and different techniques, we both started to progress. His body shape is different to mine, more bulky, so he started getting bigger, whereas I am skinny so started to tone. In the lifting department we could both do the same which was great as we didn’t waste time switching weights and making the other feel like a lil bitch for not being able to handle the heat.
We switch to free weights full time pretty much, using the odd machine when needed. For me this is a big step as I never had the confidence to go hit that with the big doggs grunting and that. It was purely the fact that I felt too small, sometimes I still do but you just have to get on with it or you’ll never get the results you desire, then whats the point! I know I have good muscle, but some days I just feel its all faded away!
But we got to it. Going 5 times a week without fail, having fun and sweating along the way. Extra long sessions on a weekend meant we got in anything that we didn’t have time for in the week. This is great!
This carried on for a good few months and we both had that passion, we both wanted to go all the time and it was a travesty if one of us would pull out for any reason, neither of us had a good enough excuse. This is just one of the many reason a gym buddy is great, you feel really bad if you let them down, causing you to bend arrangements to be able to get that hour in, whatever time it is scheduled for.
As time has gone on it appears my bro’s passion has wavered, his love of cheese may have taken over! When we talk he wants to go and I don’t doubt that, but when it comes to it, there isn’t even an excuse, he tells me he is tired and wants to go eat cheese. Fair play, at least he is honest!
You can keep asking but if someone doesn’t have the same passion as you, its always going to be a problem. It came to a point where I have decided to let him get in touch with me if he wants to go, Ill always be ready to go if he asks, but just to see if he wants to go at all.
I said that to myself about three weeks ago, I have been my usual 5 times a week, I have gone with him maybe twice in that time. It is disappointing but when we did go we would only be there 45 minutes and the weights weren’t really cutting it anymore. That driving force built up between us seemed to be lacking.
We are in different places right now when it comes to gym. I have gone down a more serious route as I will shortly be training to be a personal trainer, trying new things which weren’t so enjoyable for the gym bro as they aren’t traditional, getting in a strop if I had a go for not trying! lol
When you are working out with a partner who is as driven as you are, has the same goals and really wants to commit, it can be the most rewarding, exciting and friendship building activity you can do. If one of you just isn’t feeling it it is going to waver and become more of a social meeting rather than a chance to really push yourself.
The more frustrating side of it is when I think were we both could be if we were pushing each other at this point, as we were in the beginning. Would I be bigger? I have done well but maybe I could have pushed for more PB’s in this time.
The motivation I have comes from a new exciting venture in my life in becoming a personal trainer, this has pushed me to work out new techniques, try workouts I have never seen before and spend more time working out. I have this as motivation to push me but when your partner doesn’t, how can you help them?
I know all this doesn’t really answer the question but what I think I am getting at is the fact that gym partners can be incredible, pushing you, giving you confidence and really bringing the fun to the gym sessions, which can be monotonous without. But if your partner doesn’t want the same thing you do, its just not going to work, find your motivation in yourself and use it, just in case they are a no show!
I have just realised this sounds very much like I am summing up a romantic relationship….NO HOMO!